Happy V day Bitches!!!

I love you both and this background is kinda hard to see what we type so prbly won't be up too long. Hope u both register for that race today caz I am!!!

On Dasher and Pranser. . . .

Well I think instead of Jacob Matt should change his name to Jaques or Jean- Luc caz french people are sexy (when they bath) and Jean - Luc reminds me of my adventures on the Star Ship enterprise as Captain Su Lu. K so that was stoopid and speaking of stoopid her are the sexy sexy hats we will be wearing to every marathon we run along with the bedazzled shirts grammie makes us. . . .

All I want for Christmas

All I want for Christmas is my fat ass gone,

my fat ass gone,

ohhhh my fat ass gone......

So I can be a hottie moooooommmmm.

Thought you would enjoy my new mantra.

by the way I think Jenny and Jake would be cute

Mull it over and let us know by Saturday or I will write you a verbal warning!

I didn't know Shitface did modeling before he worked with us? Wierd...it's so fitting for him.

You know what's also two grand? Lipo.

So I was looking at leather sofa sets and there were some awesome ones that were around $2000 and on one of the advertisements on the web page was Liposuction: Starting at $1500...I say, FUCK leather couches.

Speaking of leather, as I told Jamie, I am still a fat cow, not lost any weight, and I give up and I really want to make this recipe for homemade samoas, and just sit on the couch and eat them one by one, and I'm fat.

I made a little gym in my house. Did I tell you guys Josh's dad got the house so we get to stay? Yay! We moved his big honkin weight set up to one of the upstairs room, and put my treadmill in it. I need a sign. "Fatty Fat's Gym". Maybe I'll make on at As you wish.

Jenny you need to have Matt change his name. Cause me and Josh are Jessica and Josh. Jamie is John and Jamie. Jenny is Jenny and...Matt. It doesn't go. Maybe Jacob? or Joe.

Let him know and get back to me.


That is all.

My response to his email curtosy of urban dictionary. . . .

	drama queen	464 up, 55 down
	An overly dramatic person. Mary blows everything out of proportion! She's such a drama queen! by Bri Mar 8, 2004 share this add comment
2.	Drama Queen	335 up, 36 down
	Someone who turns something unimportant into a major deal. Someone who blows things way out of proportion when ever the chance is given. "Oh my god! You copied that without giving the other person credit! That is just mean. You're horrible, don't talk to me. Im gonna go tell everyone what a cruel person you are just so they will pay attention to me and think im cool." by Jaime Dec 16, 2004 share this add comment
3.	drama queen	263 up, 55 down
	Someone who angsts about the littlest things, the most unlikely possibilities, and how spasses out about the most ridiculously unimportant matters. My fucking girlfriend. by Chuck in D.C. Feb 16, 2004 share this add comment 4. drama queen 174 up, 23 down An annoying bitch who always feels like every insignificant problem in her day is a disaster of Hurricane Katrina proportions. Anyone who so much as gives her the time of day is in for an endless session of hearing why her boyfriend is such an asshole or how she's fat because she can't wear size 0 jeans along with an allday crying marathon. If you value your sanity avoid these psychic vampires like the clap or you'll never have a minute's peace. My ex girlfriend is such a drama queen. drama mama drama whore emo bitch attention whore by DennisIsEvil Sep 22, 2006 share this add comment 5. drama queen 145 up, 62 down A person.. especially a girl.. who likes to stir up stuff between other people just to be the center of attention Vonder Haars by A Girl Dec 8, 2003 share this add comment 2 and 5 are my favorites and we have an all girl staff on day shift. At least Bryan is cool with it. Um could you not take pictures of my penis pump . . . . I'm gonna have to write a policy about that.

Here we go again friends...go fuck yourself San Diego

Jamie,
Tonight after following you, I noticed a few errors, you had two paced patients that you did not measure this morning, and as you may remember from Mary Ellen's education, we are to measure them. I noticed that you measured a QT interval on a A fib patient, we are not allowed to measure those per Mary Ellen's education as well. Also, you had four admits that you did not document the alarm settings on. I saw thirteen AM strips that you did not document the alarms before sending them to the floor. I found five patients that had there alarms changed and it was not documented. Last, I found one patient with no Am strip. However, you did document alarms on seven patients so I know that you are aware of our current policy. Consider this a verbal warning and please be aware of our current policies. If you have any questions please let me know.
Thanks,
ShitFace
P.S. I have a severely small penis and need to use this in order to feel manly....I also write verbal warnings....due to my small penis I have a large brain instead
(obviously).....What a dumb fuck!

Wanna be like Chuck?

Click on this link and then scroll down past the pretty half asian lady where their is a video of Uncle Chuck. This is crazy.....could you imagine if he worked out.....yuck! Or snored?

http://www.bagofnothing.com/2007/05/

What the FUCK is wrong with people?

Seriously I hate people!!! They are viscous, ugly, and only after one thing and that is notarity. Yeah lets go be "Ana's"....what creepy mother fuckers!!!!!

I say lets be creepy too....

lets start a....taking a bath at work or going "moni",

which means to be totally nice and kind at work.....

dunnn nnaaaa naaaahhhh......and then build a case against your co-workers

and watch their lives go up in flames!!!

AAAHHHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

SO CREEPY!

But moving onto the good things in life, I have worked out 3 times this week....working on getting the 4th one in today. So you can not laugh....well okay but not in front of me....but I pulled a muscle in my back. No SHIT, I can't breathe deep, hold my baby very long, make quick movements or sleep very well. I am so fat that I have pulled a muscle in my back...my body is telling me..."hey you fat fucker we can't handle you doing lunges, rows, running or anything else with dumbells...your body weight is enough....so put down the 20 and give us a freakin break"

Today I need to run again and I will take the pain and f-ing run. Maybe by next week I will be down into a normal weight for a short fucker.

Pray for me ladies...pray!

Ana or Mia??

I would like to say that I am not anorexic I just vomit after every meal. Anorexic people look sick and I can still pass for healthy thank you. Anyways my Miabuddy says I am beautiful. . . I've gotten down to 125 several times before I can never seem to get past it. I didn't run today Instead I sat on my coach ate salty mixed nuts and watched American Idol. Jesus Christ if you feel bad about yourself watch some of those miserable fucks sing and then have the judges crush their dreams like a beer can. omg I love it! Jamie you can go down to A.J and buy some meth if your really miserable I hear it does wonders for your skin too. . . .

I second your misery Jamie. Even though I've lost 3 pounds, I am supposed to lose 15 which means I should be losing weight easier than you two. In fact, we only have 5 weeks left till our 5k March 1st, so I'm gonna need to lose like 3 pounds every week. As Dr. Evil says, RIIIIGHT. I think I'm gonna try to monitor my food closer, especially when I'm not at work, and work out more than 3 days a week. Josh is getting a bunch of weights with his christmas money this weekend so I'll throw in some weight training. Someone told me that it's Girl Scout cookie time, oh my god I love those I can eat a whole box. I swear to God if I see one of their tables outside the store I'm gonna eat the fucking buttons right off their little vests.

By the way Jenny, I started a rumor that your anorexic. Sorry.

I hate my life

So I weighed myself the other day and I'm still at 151.

I seriously am, disgusting! I am having a horrible week....I'm fat, John is pissed because I don't write about him on my other blog, and all of my friends are hot. I am going down to A.J. and looking for some hick ass people to call my friends. I might feel better about being fat, not having a job, staying at home, cooking, cleaning, and really just being a loser. Have I made you want to kill yourself yet.....because this post sucks balls!!!

it could always be worse. . . .

I would like Jessica to know that I just build muscle in my abs solely be reading her fun dip measurments. . . . your a crazy bitch but thats why I like you. . . and the only real cure for pee hole spiders is to inject apple sauce into your peehole

Is that supposed to be me in ballet class? Because I take great offense that. My russian dictator takes her classes very seriously. Don't make me have her get the mob on you.

And don't worry about Obama, a turtle could have a good presidency after 8 years of Texas' worst.

I am at 154 which is not that great compared to my starting weight of 157, but I have started to notice a difference in my stomach, it has gotten flatter. My hips, NO. And Jenny, muscle weighs more blah blah yes, but it's not like I'm weight training. I'm doing solely cardio, not much muscle is being built. But thank you for the encouragement. Maybe I'll put down the four dollar box of chocolates from Trader Joe's and stop feeling sorry for myself. I like Jamie's idea of measuring. I would like to be able to document a difference in that. But I don't have a tape measure, so I'm gonna have to do it with fun dip sticks:

Waist: 16 fun dip sticks
Bust: -4 fun dip sticks
Hips: 4,346 fun dip sticks

Are we ever gonna be able to hike again? It's pretty bad when we have to schedule out a martini party 3 months in advance. Jenny has her full time nursing school and work, Jamie has her husband and baby and work, I have my...my uh..


...I'm going back to my chocolates.

Black power!!!!

God help Obama! Let me just say that if you have ever seen Fantesia u would know that those ballet hippos are famous and if your rich you don't need to be skinny. . . also Jamie with her 38 inch bust don't judge my 126 which is actually 124 now. :) I really have been keeping track of everything I eat and I think i've found that about 1800 calories a day will keep me from eating a live horse by the end of the day but i'm still loosing weight. Also the running helps I'm sure and Jessica, yeah that girl the dosnt know how to type apparently, looked pretty thin yesterday. You have to gain muscle before u loose fat. Jamie I hope your using calorie count I know you won't hate me for it after you loose 5 more pounds. God I think this is my most boring blog yet,
sweet. . .

Maybe Ballet Isn't the Best Idea

Just thought you might want to see what it did to these girls.....not really the direction we were going for this spring break:) Have fun at ballet Jessica.

Measurements

So I measured myself this morning and holy SHIT!!! I am so embarrassed but here it is:

Bust 38in
Waist: 35.5 in
Butt: 40 in
arms: 13 in

I measured myself before I was pregnant and had a baby and was running and lifting all the time....because there was nothing else to do:) I remember my waist being about a 34 or 33.5.......can you believe that crap!!!! More motivation to run, run, run, and find time to work out....I just need to get up early and go. Leave the guilt behind and just go with no baby and no hubby. It can be my time to do something just for myself. So here I go world.....I work out tomorrow morning and I am going to take the dogs on a run today.

This is how I feel today....

I know I don't look like that but man has anyone looked at themselves in the mirror and gone...WHOA??!!! I am having a moment and the pizza (thin crust) and the Dairy Queen is not helping. I am going to run the stairs tomorrow, run on Monday, lift Tuesday, Run Wed, lift Thurs, and what I have time to do on Friday as I am going to a scrapbooking class for 7 hours:) Don't hate. Jenny I f-ing hate you and your 126. I am 151 and will be weighing myself tomorrow. I hope I am at 149:) Keep a 1-2 pound pace a week and we are looking at 10 pounds by March 14th!!!!

Don't be a hater. . ..

FYI jamie even with ur devilishly delicious cookies, btw u perfected your frosting and I hate u for it, I still didn't go over although my "Sena" day consisted of Barro's Pizza and a chesse burger with fries mmmm. . . . Um my current weight is 126 according to my disco scale and I think I did really good this week. In fact I feel pretty good about it. I ran twice and did a workout video once and went hiking. I know its tuesday but whatever lol and u pirate hookers still havn't posted starting weights. . . . Luv u guys and hope u both also did fabulous last week!!!!!

New Policy

I would like to propose a new "Policy and Procedure" aka "PP".

1: We must do a weigh in every Sunday and post!

2: On Sunday also post how we did that last week

3: Say what we will do for the next week to have a better more weight friendly week.

4: Never bring your "J-team" friends sugar cookies. Apparently, today was Jenny and Jessica's cheat day.

Suckers!!!

I laugh the sabotage laugh as I sit here eating my bowl of veggies:)

Oh BTW. . . .

It's gotta rain someday. . . .

Yes you enjoy drama, now leave us alone. . .

So are we human or are we dancer?? damn song leave my head!! how much do u think a hit on the Killers would be?? So I will be taking the same picture above on march 1st only it will be one of us not some sickly gay man. . . So I only like drama when it's about celebrities. . . . . I am so retardedly bored right now i was reading some articles about decreasing daily stress and that is about 15 minutes of my life I can't have back so lets go hiking once a week (or running or something) and just vent about everything pissing us off in our lives and then move on till the next week. Sneak preview: how jessica eats apple sauce or pudding or anything with her tongue its disgusting. . . . We'll be like a bunch of ninety year old bitches playing bridge.

BTW my signs are vital, my hands are cold. . . . . . what you gonna do what you gonna do when the drama llama comes for you. . . .

Don't judge me monkey. . . .

That's what I will be saying as we run past those nimble bastards at the zoo on March 1st!

So any whoo I'll go first. . . My starting weight was 130.6 then I had to visit my crazy Aunt Flo, That wretched whore, and my second weeks weight was 133.4 but I jacked my mom's 1970 era scale and I'm back down to 129 so I will be using her scale from now on.



So tomorrow Jess and I will be eating tortilla soup and akwardly stretching in prepration for running on Saturday then hiking on Sunday. I will also be trying not to eat the remainder of the box of cremescicles I bout today. Only 70 calories but no nutritional value whatsoever. . . .

Jamie you havn't been calling or texting so put the freaking sugar cookie down put on the biker shorts and go for a jog!! and u really should stop by and eat my soup its delliciously low in fat. . . mmmmm

I hope whoever says you can't lose weight by exercise alone is wrong...

So I'd like you guys to know that after our hike yesterday I went to Denny's and had an egg and bacon sandwhich with fries and ranch, after which I asked our tranny waitress if I could pour the ranch on the floor and roll in it but Josh shook his head.

I am all in for the doing a workout video at Jenny's house that sounds HILARIOUS.

You know we never posted our before weight. We should follow up each week with our current weight or measurements or what not. I don't want to get to the end and find out I still weigh a buck fifty thinking I was working this whole time. Gay.

When do we all have a day off next? I need time to plan my 80's outfit for Jenny's Aerobisize Day.

Maybe I'll ask Hope where she buys her tights...

Here's my thought....

Sense I have loads of free time today!! I was thinking workout video parties caz wouldn't it be way more fun making asses of ourselves while doing retarted workout moves to creepy 1980's porn music if we all did it together!! Then we could have lunch or eat a cookie whatever afterwards Heres a website that has a bunch of workout videos and u can watch clips of them if anything at least its a little amusing...... Stay on the wagon today girls!!


http://www.collagevideo.com/

Welcome to adult content. . . .

If only it was this easy..... It's long just skip some parts......

Job what stinkin job

So today I learned that I'm better off eating a donut and having coffee for breakfast

than I am eating a healthy

banana and raisin bran.

Go figure. By the way....

I hate you calorie count as much as I hate Jenny.

P.S. I love cheetos

Internet, I introduce to you, Jessica.

I would like to let the World Wide Web know about my awesome weight loss buddies, Jamie and Jenny. I, Jessica "tight pants" McGee was sick last week. Wednesday I called out of work ill. As I lie on my death bed getting much needed sleep, Jenny was kind enough to text me in the middle of the damn night. The next day, I went home from work in the middle of the day, went to sleep, only to have Jamie text me three hundred and sixty four times and then leave me hatemail. Saturday, Jenny texted me about liquor and fire. I came back to work Sunday to find an email from Jenny saying if I didn't forward this email Chris Angel would eat my face.

So, to summarize: I need a new weight loss group, the recent string of fires was apparently Jenny, and Jamie can't spell.

Off the wagon....Already?

Random picture I thought you would all enjoy...hilarious!!!

So yesterday I tried to go to the gym....baby did not sleep.....then I tried to go running with the dogs.....daddy wanted food for Cardinals game.....tried to go after food was made.....Daddy's dad was coming over......have to clean....or be judged.....so I am going to try to go to the gym today. Baby is sleeping, will feed her and then go to the gym. I am going to lift really hard and be so sore for work tomorrow!!! I will then have an e-mail written about me to say:

Dear Hope,

Jamie is sore, playing the zune, and does not do her reads right at 9, 11, 1, 3, or even 5.

Love

shit face

I am also contemplating drinking alot tonight, playing rock-band and showing up hung over

P.s. Hope she drinks alot too

Hire me for A-hole of the year:)

Weight watchers here we come. . .

http://caloriecount.about.com/

I keep forgeting to post this website. I've been using it a couple years. It's not just for calorie counting u can also store what u eat in a day and it will make a electronic food diary and show u the ratios of like fat carbs protien ect. ect. It also grades u but I don't know how acurite that part is. U can aslo look up ur BMR and find out how many calories u expend a day and how many calories things like vacumming, Jamie, and playing with the dogs, Jessica, burns. BTW is Jessica still in this thing or did the plague finally kill her?? WHERE R U BITCH!! The site also has healthy recipes. So how much do u think I could sell a Zune for on craigslist. . . .

Now if I could get rid of these cumbersome breasts. . .

Here's the workout video I bought yesterday on Amazon. I am sooo bored with my old one's and tired of looking tranny abs they frighten and intimidate me. . .BTW she made people loose chunks of fat that weight more than my whole body.

OMG Goals. . . .

hello friends!! I'm gonna do a workout video today! I was thinking Richard Simions but i dunno then maybe go walk my dog. . . i think the alchol thing may be a bit unrealistic srsly I need AA and Jamie dear I love you but god u need a tan. . . . and please please burn those shorts. :)

Now work it girls!! Like a pony, Like a pony!!

Jessica

lose 15lbs in 10 weeks

1:20-30 mins of cardio 3 days a week

2: 1 Cup of Veggies a day

3: keep a food journal daily

Jenny

lose 5 lbs in 10 weeks

1: work out video 3 x's a week

2: 1 day a week have alcohol

3: 1800 calories a day

Jamie

lose 5 lbs in 10 weeks

1: cardio 3x's a week for 20-30 mins

2: 1 fruit & 2 veggies a day

3: get up with John 3 days a week.

The J Team Fatties Before Pictures

Okay girls here it is.....Jessica is the girl in the really wrinkled 'cause their to tight beige pants, Jenny is the girl who looks like a nurse....hmmmm....a hot nurse:), and Jamie is the last one who looks like a dyke biker/runner who does neither of those but just likes to wear the shorts. Our goals are simple, positive, and realistic. I will post our goals when Jenny e-mails me them again....I'm sorry I erased your e-mail. Meanwhile I am going to the gym tomorow and am about to have a bag of veggies. Yummmm!!! See you later bitches

I burned 1056 today. . .

yeah I 'm bored so anywhoo heres another sweet article and btw I'm gonna go to the bar chug 1056 calories after work today. . . anybody wanna join me??

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/burn-baby-burn-331732/

It has begun. . . .

Happy New Years!!! I hope you and your families have a great and prosperous year but most importantly I hope our asses get skinnier!! So to start this think off right heres some links to excel sheets to help u guys keep a food jornal and even one that helps calculate fat percentage of what u eat.

Meal Planner: http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/templates/TC010183031033.aspx?AxInstalled=1&c=0

Fat Calculator: http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/templates/TC010684541033.aspx

Hope You like the cupcakes don't let them tempt you they are the devil. . . . and Jamie only trannies have abs like that. . .

Love you bitches see you soon,
Jen